So if everything you’ve been doing in your emails is ineffective – if everything that comes naturally to you is too dull – what ARE you to do? The other is called Opinion Openers, where, instead of stating a “me, too” fact (You like Bruce Springsteen? ), you offer your opinion – in which your personality shines through (Hey, if The Boss is from New Jersey, how come he sounds more like Woody Guthrie than Tony Soprano when he sings? So while I will acknowledge that being hot and stupid is more effective than being ugly and fascinating, the truth lies somewhere in between.
A great email will never make someone who doesn’t want to date you consider you, but it WILL tip the balance when someone is choosing between a dozen otherwise similar candidates.
It’s because YOU’RE making it stale, and you’re accepting stale conversation from others.
As explained in great detail in this article, most emails sound like they could have been pre-written by anyone in the world. If you sound like you’re presuming you’ll get an email back, you’re much more likely to get an email back. You’re not here to find out if a person will sleep with you or marry you in a first email. I think we have a lot in common – particularly our mutual love of rum punch.
This probably sounds incredibly nitpicky, but it’s not. I’ve got two techniques for writing first emails that I describe in Finding the One Online.
If you’re going to write the same exact email as every single person on the dating site, you can’t be surprised when you get deleted quickly like junkmail. One is called Fun Fiction, in which you make up something silly based on a detail in the other person’s profile. You may think that this stuff doesn’t matter – that people only write back to the most attractive people no matter what.
I may email again, saying, “If you want to know anything just ask”, etc. It’s that you probably haven’t given her a compelling reason to be. “So if a man can make you into a more engaging person by writing a witty first email, wouldn’t it make sense that you could turn a man into a more engaging person by doing the same?I asked this client what made this email exchange different from the other exchanges. I mean, from the majority of your emails, you sound really boring, too.And yet this one guy with the trivia questions was able to bring out your playful side.” The moral of the story is that you are ALWAYS responsible for how you leave a conversation. By being optimistic, playful, interested and interesting, you can almost always transform any evening into a pleasant experience.He asked her a silly question and started grilling her with more and more trivia questions, teasing her about what she might win if she got all the questions right. “It made me funny in response to him,” she replied. They’re just as boring as the ones that you received.She played along and pushed right back and they’ve already got a first date lined up. “He was so lively and engaging that I sort of had no choice but to come back with something equally witty and creative.” “So by him writing something playful and interesting to you, he actually brought out a more playful and interesting side of you? Wouldn’t it stand to reason that if you took the time to write something interesting and creative back to these guys, you might discover that they actually have a personality?The embedded link in the email itself goes to a website that looks exactly like the real thing but is actually a fake designed to trick victims into entering personal information.