” And he’s like, “Yeah, I’m not going.” Robby: TBD. He was talking about what it felt like to feel different or like an outsider, and saying that he feels that way all the time.
If anything starts happening like in these scenes, I will not be sticking around. I wasn’t so aware that he still felt that way, even after two years of us being together.
I’ve been reading a lot of think pieces about how white progressives aren’t really taking away the right lessons from the film, like how they are Rose [Allison Williams’s character, the white girlfriend], and they appear benevolent but in reality they are perpetrating the same social crimes and macro- and microaggressions but automatically identify with the protagonist. The whole time I was cringing at her family because I was like that’s exactly what my family is like.
We talked to seven interracial couples of various backgrounds about how watching the film made them reflect on their own relationships, the enduring stress of “meeting the parents,” and whether they’ll be RSVPing for the next family reunion — “TBD,” as one of our interviewees put it. Afterward I looked at him and I was like, “I really hope you know I’m not racist.” He’s met my entire extended family and I was like: “I really hope you know this is not a possibility with my family, everybody loves you.” But after the movie, I could just feel eyes on us.
” The first time that he’d actually really met my dad was when we went to see the movie.
Matt: Meeting another person’s family is always sort of awkward and a little scary, but I think in our experience it’s a little more awkward and scary when you’re in an interracial relationship.
The idea that, Oh I can totally relate to what you go through and I don’t see you any differently, that typical white liberal language — I don’t think that makes things any easier.
It doesn’t convince people that you can actually relate to what they go through.
I just kept thinking about what other people in the theater were thinking about me and him and our relationship, and I felt uncomfortable.