- What are two or three behaviors or attitudes that you will not tolerate in a dating relationship?Examples of Boundaries-Words, the truth, distance, and other people are four kinds of limits we can set and use in dating. When has one of these boundaries been helpful in a dating relationship-or when could it be? There are several kinds of limits we can set and use in dating, all depending on the circumstances.- What problems can arise in a dating relationship if you're making choices out of fear or guilt rather than based on your values? By responsibility, we mean your ability to execute your tasks in keeping the relationship healthy and loving, as well as being able to say no to things you shouldn't be responsible for.- Again, think about a recent dating experience, a friendship, or a relationship with a family member.- What values, preferences, and morals do you want to be clear about right from the start in your dating relationships? Problems in Freedom and Responsibility (page 26) We are writing about the problems people have in how they conduct their dating lives.Simply put, many of the struggles people experience in dating relationships are, at heart, caused by some problem in the areas of freedom and responsibility.No Kids Allowed (page 26) Though dating has its difficulties, we believe in dating. Rather, teens who can take appropriate ownership of their lives can enjoy and benefit from dating. What relationship that you've been involved in-or that you're aware of-would freedom and responsibility have improved or cured? Before we take a look at the ways that dating problems arise from freedom and responsibility conflicts, let's take a brief look at what boundaries are and how they function in dating relationships. (page 28) Let's take a look at what a boundary is, its functions and purpose, and some examples.We think it offers lots of good things, such as, for starters, opportunities to grow personally and learn how to relate to people. A Property Line-Just as a physical fence marks out where your yard ends and your neighbor's begins, a personal boundary distinguishes what is your emotional or personal property and what belongs to someone else.
John is founder of the Townsend Institute for Leadership and Counseling and conducts the Townsend Leadership program.Why did you choose to not respect his or her boundaries?Boundaries are the key to keeping your very soul safe, protected, and growing.To what degree did fear, guilt, or need motivate your choice?What did you fear, what were you feeling guilty about, what guilt were you trying to avoid, and/or what need were you trying to meet?In dating, your property is your own soul: Your boundaries define and protect your love, your emotions, your values, your behaviors, and your attitudes.