When my daughter asked me when I thought a girl was ready to have sex, I replied ''when she's ready to handle a baby.'' We all know that every form of birth control has a failure rate, so I don't think it's too far out to talk about pregnancy.
A lot of oral sex goes on in dating, with definite health risks, loss of reputation, etc.
As for the rules themselves, I think that the rules we set for teenagers are a safety net, not a protective coating, the kids can get around them if they are determined.
Set the rules that you think are appropriate for her, if they are not 100% enforceable acknowledge this to her, and be clear about the consequences if you do find out that they have been broken.
It's unclear to me what your goals are, and this is the first step in setting up guidelines or procedures of any sort.
It sounds from your message as if you are conflicted with regard to your goal.
We're all in this together Dec 2001 I would like to hear from parents about what kind of parameters they set for dating for 16 year old girls --particularly sexually active ones who ( in addition to being great kids) can be defiant, unreliable, do not tell the truth and have various emotional problems for which they are in treatment/ on medication.
You are obviously aware that a teen who is acting out like this will rebel against very restrictive rules, but that still leaves you room to maneuver.
The task of a teenager is to become an adult, when a teen is troubled it is imperative that they learn that the responsibility for their actions is theirs alone. ) to unravel that while the problems may stem from some terrible situations and horrible stuff that other people did to her, that she is the one who must now move forward with her life and find ways to make choices that support her.
That does not mean, that if you think she is too young that you need to hide that opinion, but present it in a way that acknowledges her ability to make different decisions, and make sure it conveys your concerns about the effects her choices may have on her rather than an issue of right or wrong.
When adults approached me in this way when I was a teen, they made the most impact.
Make sure she has condoms if she will be alone with him. Single mom of teenager Well, I don't have that much experience with this as my daughter is 15 also. This totally embarasses her and she doesn't want to talk about it, but I think she's listening.